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Halloween Ends

It’s so much better than Halloween Kills, but that’s really just an indicator as to how much room there is above Halloween Kills to be so much better. In this one, the narrative focuses on Laurie’s granddaughter, an A&E nurse who, after a lifetime of trauma from a serial killer, falls in love with a creepy dude who killed a kid after he looks at her a couple of times while she’s taking glass out of a gash on his hand. There’s even a line where she’s being goaded by a friend for “being with the guy who killed a kid”, and the rebuttal is that she should be allowed to be with who she wants to be with. So that should give an idea as to how thoughtful a film this is.

All Halloween Ends really does is it takes the “here’s that thing you liked again” subgenre of modern remakes/reboots/sequels, of which this is kinda all three, and dials it up far beyond eleven. It’s so self referential that a brand new character is introduced for no other purpose than to wear as many references as possible, such as the original Michael Myers clown mask that was binned in favour for a much better idea, and very little else. They even play a Don’t Fear The Reaper jingle in a supermarket and it’s just irritating.

Of course, the aspect of this that’s putting people in cinema screens all over the world is how it finally ends. After 44 years I’m quite upset to report that the answer is with a fucking whimper. The final fight is a bit of a greatest hits set that ends with what could be misconstrued as a particularly gruesome episode of Binging with Babish, and then it all just blends into a feeling of melancholy. This is a real disappointment for a number of reasons, but perhaps the biggest is that after all of that, it’s all over with one of the most forgettable and inconsequential films of them all. Luckily, as I walked out of the cinema the first thing I saw was a guy dressed as Michael Myers. It was such a shock, and I’m such a pussy, that I nearly screamed. That was a much better ending to it all for me.

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