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Red Notice

Absolute trash, but it was very unlikely I’d ever think that differently about this. I find it difficult to tolerate The Rock and Ryan Reynolds at the best of times, so when I heard they’d made this together I thought “fantastic”. I really hoped it’d be a huge hit and then they could just go and make a string of films together and that they’d never accidentally end up in a film that I might want to watch ever again. It really pains me that this is bombing for that reason, but it genuinely is the worst film of 2021 by quite some distance. 

There are too many different locations, each with an establishing shot and a title card but devoid of a purpose. The Rock being bald is the punchline of at least half of the jokes, as if we hadn’t come to terms with The Rock being bald at least five years ago. I couldn’t tell if the dialogue about the importance of three eggs was supposed to be taken as seriously as it was delivered. There was a rare joke where the punchline wasn’t The Rock’s inability to grow hair, but was instead just that David and Richard Attenborough share a surname. It’s just shit. 

Luckily it’s all very forgettable, and if I wasn’t so irritated by it I’d probably already be questioning whether I’ve seen it or not. There’s so little substance to anything that I’m impressed that they managed to squeeze over two hours and a whole social media campaign out of it. Don’t be fooled by the marketing, though. It’s absolute dogshit.

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