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Uncharted

Shit film. The characters seem to suffer from short-term memory loss to accommodate plot points and fight sequences, and I’m not sure the writers have ever experienced a human conversation. But don’t expect this to be a so bad it’s good movie because it really never even gets close to that, it’s just boring nonsense. 

It’s impossible to get invested in any character because everyone other than Nathan Drake himself has one singular personality trait, and that’s a selfish drive to fuck everyone else over in order to get their hands on the loot that the narrative is based around. They all appear to be rich in the first place though, judging by the amount of globe hopping necessary to even find it. Because of that I’m not sure what the stakes are supposed to be or why it’s important whether they find it or not, so it’s hard to care for any of it. Drake himself has a thing going on where he doesn’t know what’s happened to his brother, but he constantly refers to his brother as if the people around him have forgotten who he is, and then towards the end he seems to have forgotten who he is himself as he just randomly stops caring about what happened to him. How are the audience supposed to care about a film when the writers so clearly don’t?

There’s gonna be a sequel from this and it’ll do well at the box office despite how bad this is and that will inevitably be, and that leaves me a little sad. I’m glad I didn’t pay for it but I regret contributing towards its numbers.

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